Tonight
by CeceVolume
Summary: Eighty years from now, Stefan and Damon think about life without Elena.
1. Stefan

_All right, this is centered around Stefan's and Damon's feelings in eighty years when they're still living and Elena has died. I took Elena's promise from the books and kind of worked it in here, too._

Tonight: Stefan

_I remember the times we spent together,  
>All those drives,<br>We had a million questions all about our lives.  
>And when we got to New York everything felt right.<br>I wish you were here with me  
>Tonight.<em>

Ten years. It's been the longest ten years of my life. Everything I've done since then has been to keep that promise, the hardest promise I've ever made in my long life.

_"Will you promise me something, Stefan?" Elena asked, her voice fragile and weak. Her soft hand was in his, just as it had been for the last seventy years of their life together. Though they were lovers throughout that time, Damon was also a large part of her life. And that's how he knew that her time with him was coming to a close. And how he knew what she would ask._

_"Anything, love," he whispered back, tears filling his eyes. He might have grown accustomed to human blood, thanks to Elena's daily doses, but he wouldn't flip that switch with her. He refused to not feel when he was with her, even when things got really hard. Like when she'd started getting sick and nothing the doctors gave her worked._

_"I...I want you to promise me that you'll watch after Damon. Make sure...that someday he tries to be happy again."_

_He nodded, gently placing her hand back on the bed next to her. Her labored breathing was enough for him to know that she needed more rest; he wouldn't have her in pain in the end. Besides, he would know the moment her heart started to slow just from the sound echoing in their secluded mountain home._

_Fading into the shadows, he left the room without a sound. He had to call his brother, bring him to say his goodbyes. Damon wouldn't forgive him otherwise._

That was our last full day together. The next afternoon, Elena passed away surrounded by the people nearest and dearest to her, lying in the bed we'd shared since she'd graduated from college. I didn't care that I shared her last moments with the others; she'd needed them more than anything else.

Damon, however, hadn't come.

It's the one thing I regret, not making him come to see her one last time. But I understand his curt response, even today. He had snarled into the phone that he didn't want to have his last memory of her be crowded with all the rest of "those people".

_"You could have turned her. You could have let_ me_ turn her. Years ago, we could have made it so that this never would have had to happen. And now you want me to watch her _die, _surrounded by all those people? You can go to hell and stay there, _little brother_." He said the last words with so much disgust, Stefan knew that there was no way to change his mind._

But I wish I had. That might have been the only thing that could have made it easier on Elena. She would have loved to see him one last time, I'm sure of it.

Our time together was perfect, though. Our years were beautiful and someday, when it's my time—despite being a vampire—I'll get to meet her again and see her the way she was meant to be seen: wearing a halo with beautiful wings sprouting from her back.

_I remember the days we spent together  
>Were not enough<br>And it used to feel like dreaming,  
>Except we always woke up.<br>Never thought not having you here now  
>Would hurt so much.<em>

I smile up at my ceiling as I lie in our bed. Sometimes, I can still smell her throughout our house. Since I have no real reason to eat, our kitchen is untouched, lingering traces of her scent fading until human senses couldn't even pick it up on the best day.

But I smell her and I remember.

I never thought that her videos—the first from our wedding, the last from one of her last days—would be able to make me feel any better. But now that I've grown used to being alone once more, they were the only thing that could keep me going most days.

I might just put another one in now. I think I want to watch the last one. She told me that she didn't want me to remember her that way, as a "shriveled, old woman". But I will always love her and she will always be the most beautiful woman in the world to me, no matter what she looked like or how long she's been gone.

I turn on my computer and quickly get the video running. Immediately, I am met with the most beautiful eyes in the world. I was the one holding the camera, but she's the one making it shake. Emotion overwhelmed me most of those days; I'd been unable to keep steady.

_"Stefan, don't. I don't want you to remember me this way!"_

_"I want to remember every moment of the time I get with you. Nothing is going to be forgotten. Not if I live only a day or millennium after you."_

_"Well, you could at least not film right in front of my face. That light hurts my eyes."_

I laugh to myself as our argument is ended by her frail smile. Love fills my heart just as it breaks again.

I know that I'll never love someone else ever again. I know that she was the last person for me for the rest of my life. I'll always be true to her, whether she's in my arms or just my memories.

Pain suddenly rips through me, but I welcome it. She wouldn't have wanted me to ever become unfeeling. She'd want me to be the Stefan she fell in love with forever, and I refuse to do anything to disgrace her memory.

_Tonight I've fallen  
>And I can't get up.<br>I need your loving hands to come and pick me up,  
>And every night I miss you,<br>I can just look up,  
>And know the stars are holding you,<br>Holding you,  
>Holding you tonight.<em>

I try not to cry out as the pain becomes more physical than it's ever been. It tears through me until I fall from the chair, the feeling worse than any vervain or wooden stake I've ever felt. I lay there on the floor, cringing at the feeling of having my heart torn from my chest. I wonder if this is karma, attacking me for taking a real life from her. She could have had a human life, but I took it from her.

The only thing I left her with was her humanity.

I wish with all my heart that one of us had been born in a different time, that we could have married as adults, had children, grown old together. Maybe I would have even had the easier time of dying first. Maybe we could have lived in one town our entire lives and had neighbors that knew our names.

_Stefan, please don't do this to yourself._

Her voice rings clear in my head, dragging me from the worst of the pain.

_I'm with you, I promise. And you need to overcome this, just like you always do, to protect Damon. I want him to be happy someday._

She's right. I can't break the only promise that's ever meant something. I have to get up. I have to be strong. My angel is watching over me and I won't cause her tears. I caused her enough of those when she was tangibly next to me.

I. Will. Not. Give. Up.


	2. Damon

_Here is the final part to the story, set in Damon's point of view. It is very important to me to express the differences between the brothers, as well as the similarities, so don't be too surprised by Damon's reactions. I'm trying to make this as in character as possible._

Tonight: Damon

_I remember the time you told me  
>About when you were eight,<br>And all the things you said that night  
>That just couldn't wait.<br>I remember the car you were last seen in,  
>And the games we would play,<br>All the times we spilled our coffees,  
>And stayed out way to late.<em>

I stare into the mirror, snarling at my reflection. You'd think that I could get over some human girl that wasn't even _mine_. You'd think that I would move on, especially after so much time has passed.

But I haven't. My pain gets worse every day.

_"Damon, you have to give in to the emotion to move on," Stefan said, patting his older brother on the shoulder. "We're vampires; when we feel love, it's deeper than anything we could feel as humans. When we feel pain, it's worse than anything else in the world."_

_Damon slapped Stefan's hand away. "Don't put your hands on me, _little brother_. It's _your_ fault she died. I'll _never_ forgive you for this."_

And I won't. Never. I will never forgive him for giving her the choice of death. He could have turned her at any time, he could have made her into a vampire, able to live forever.

I could have had more time with her.

If she had been with me instead of him, I would have turned her with or without her consent. I wouldn't have lost her. She would still be with me, even if she wanted nothing to do with me. I don't care that it's selfish of me to want her alive just so I don't have to lose her. I just want _her_.

_Elena sat down next to Damon in the sand, staring out across the water. The next day would be her thirtieth birthday; she was older than both of the Salvatores, at least in the physical sense. "I know you want to turn me tomorrow," she said quietly, keeping her eyes on the ocean before them._

_Damon didn't say anything, just kept his gaze focused ahead of him._

_"I can't be a vampire. I think you know that."_

_He did. He just wished it wasn't so._

Every year on her birthday, we had the same talk. She swore that she would never let me turn her, that she would never take human blood. If I tried to make her, she would never forgive me, never spend any time near me again.

It's still the only threat I've never blown off.

_I remember the time you sat and told me  
>About your Jesus,<br>And how not to look back  
>Even if no one believes us.<br>When it hurts so bad sometimes  
>Not having you here.<em>

She was the only person that cared about my soul. She was the only one that could make me be _good_.

I love her. There is no past tense, there is no end. I will find a way to bring her back to me, even if it takes me centuries. _I will get her back._

I know that she made Stefan promise to help me find happiness again. Did she really think I could find it without her? Did she really believe I would ever be happy with her dead? I will _never_ be happy without her. This is different from Katherine, different from Rose.

Elena is _everything_.

_"You can't focus on the past," she scolded, slowly moving to the fridge as she prepared to make herself some breakfast. The few gray hairs in the sea of brown stood out sharply, making him want nothing more than to turn her. Every day, she was closer to death, closer to leaving him. "Someday, you'll understand why that is. Someday, there'll be a woman out there that you're going to want to be human for. You can't dwell on making an eternal companion; you need to learn that everything and everyone has it's time to go."_

_Damon didn't want to hear it. She thought he would find another, but he wouldn't. No matter who or what came along._

I do have a woman I want to be human for. Elena. I want, through every part of my being, to be human so that I can see her in the end. I want—have wanted—to grow old with her, to die before her, to meet her up in heaven. But as a vampire, I don't get that option.

I punch a hole in the wall to distract myself from the pain tearing apart my heart.

_I sing,  
>Tonight I've fallen<br>And I can't get up.  
>I need your loving hands<br>To come and pick me up.  
>And every night I miss you<br>I can just look up  
>And know the stars are holding you, holding you,<br>Holding you tonight._

Sunshine streams through the shades on my windows, reminding me of when I had been ready to kill myself to protect her. I could just take off my ring, join her in death. How else would I do it? I would have to find a stronger vampire to antagonize and that would take too long.

I move slowly to the front door, preparing myself for the pain. If Isobel could do it, I can. I'm sure of it.

Sunlight. Without my ring, I'll be helpless against it. I'll burn and I'll die.

I'll be with Elena.

_Don't you dare, Damon Salvatore!_

Her voice! It's the most beautiful thing I've heard in these years since her death. I try to force it farther into my conscious mind, sure that she must be close to me. She must be a part of me.

_I won't forgive you if you do this to yourself! I wanted you to be happy, not dead! _Never_ try to kill yourself!_

I pause as I move to remove my ring. She won't forgive me? She doesn't want me to join her in death?

A snarl curls my lips. She thinks that she can demand something of me? She _left_ me! Left me to feel all the pain I've ever tried to cover. She wouldn't let me _save her_, more concerned about a few human lives.

_I was human, Damon, and I mattered. What makes them so different?_

Her words make me pause because I don't know the answer. How was she different from other humans, mortals? Because she was Elena. But I know she won't accept that answer.

I step back into the shadowed darkness of my house, closing the door behind me.


End file.
